Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Bonzo Goes Bye-Bye

From Yahoo News:

Leakey: World's Great Apes Running Out of Time
(Reuters) - Mankind's closest animal relatives the Great Apes are facing extinction and need urgent action to ensure their survival, Kenyan environmentalist Richard Leakey said Wednesday. "We are looking at a number of species that are certainly our closest relatives and are deeply threatened," he told reporters. "Crisis is an appropriate word."


So what? Apes are a bunch of evolutionary losers. Compared to 6 billion humans there are maybe a few hundred thousand gorillas and chimps and about 10,000 bonobos. Which is fargin' chump change in the Darwinian sweepstakes. Apes are a bunch of useless banana munchers, so why should I care? Mommy Nature wipes out species by the wholesale boatload. I don't see anyone leaking tears over pliohippus.

Right about now all you nature types are probably whining about how valuable and important apes are.
Well, first off, how valuable and important are species that can't compete? Nature routinely eliminates the losers. If we are to elevate nature to a primary moral principal, then our only ethical position is to stand back and applaud as Magillah and friends bite the dust. Otherwise we'd be interfering with nature, which is a double plus no-no by envirowhacko standards.

Secondly, have any of ya'll nature boys ever been up close and personal with an ape? Apes are smelly, stupid, violent, disgusting animals. I say Good riddance. Would you want one to marry your sister?

If you want to claim that all animals are valuable a priori I have to ask; all animals? Will you give your all to save the anopheles mosquito? The tsetse fly? The ebola virus? How about those cute, cuddly tape worms?
Obviously you're making a value judgement about which animals take precedence. And face it, apes suck.

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