Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Big Kitty Cats

Found this advice over at Kim du Toit's place:

The general advice to avoid being eaten by a mountain lion is to travel in groups. If you encounter a mountain lion by yourself or with your children, stop, make yourself look as big as possible, and pick up small children and put them on your shoulders to make you appear even larger. Aggressively defend your position. The idea is to deter their attack by making them think that it isn't going to be easy for them. Pick up a branch or a rock to help fight them if needed. They are just big kitty-cats, so you don't want to appear as smaller prey to them. In particular, running away makes them think you are prey, and will encourage an attack. Yell for help by screaming "cougar!" or something similarly specific rather than just help!.


Well now, I think hitting a poor widdle putty tat with a stick or a rock is just too cruel. And shouting will just hurt their little pointy ears.

Kitty cats are playful little fur balls, and can't resist an opportunity to chase a toy or cavort with their friends.

The best way to protect yourself from a cougar attack is to pack your pockets with catnip and always keep a small length of string with you. When you see a cougar say "here kitty kitty kitty" and dangle the string enticingly. Soon your new furry pal will be purring and rubbing against your legs, the big softy.

Note: some people have reccomended rubbing tuna into your hair as a further gesture of friendship.
This is a terrible idea. Cougars are natural environmentalists, and will refuse to eat tuna because the fishing industry kills so many dolphins.


Monday, April 26, 2004

The Real Kerry Scandal

All the commotion, waffling and spinning about Kerry's medals is obscuring a much more serious scandal.
(What was it he did again? Did he throw his medals over a fence, somebody else's medals, his ribbons? He threw up his ribbons? Whatever.)

In May 1970 John Shitstain Kerry flew to Paris and met secretly with the North Vietnamese.
It's hard to imagine how that couldn't be construed as treason.

Throwing his (or someone's) medals is a disgraceful, repulsive, dishonorable act. But it doesn't begin to match the treasonous, disloyal, illegal and unconstitutional meeting with Amerca's enemies in time of war.

It's one thing to have been anti war, another thing entirely to actively collude with the enemy. Kerry doesn't belong anywhere near the Whitehouse. He shouldn't even be allowed into the country. Send him back to France.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Blog Treatment Evolves To Crunchy Crustacean!

All the way to 7232 in the Blogosphere ecosystem.
In yer face Rajesh Prabhu!

And a big ass thanks to all my faithful readers, all 17 of you.

(so how come the text control buttons don't show up in Konqueror?)

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

It's Official

John Kerry's shit does not stink.

Not only that, it comes pre-wrapped
and portion controlled for your dining convenience.

I Really Hate Hippies

I always thought Easy Rider had a happy ending.

I just wanted to be clear about that...
Kim Gets One Wrong

Kim du Toit had this to say about authoritarian governments:

What I can say, with absolute certainty, is that authoritarian government may be benign at first, but inevitably leads to oppression, war and conquest / occupation, circumstances not beneficial for the fostering of culture (or of civilization, come to think of it).

This is clearly true for leftist authoritarianism; it's been a disater wherever it's been imposed, and very difficult to get rid of, and almost impossible to remove without major political upheavals and violence. However, there are a good many counter examples of right-wing authoritarian governments giving way peacefully to a more democratic system - Chile, Spain (democratic at the moment, but sadly voting themselves into dhimmitude, the schmucks) Taiwan, South Korea.

If we examine the countries of the world with democratic systems we can divide them into three main groups: (note: for simplicity of expression "democracy" is here taken to include repubican systems of government with a large democratic element along with purer democracies)

1) Indigenously evolved over long periods of time amoung Anglo Saxon/Germanic/Nordic peoples
(U.S., England, Switzerland, Iceland)

2) Imposed by (or inspired by) Anglo Saxon, etc.
(Japan, Germany, India, Israel, most of Europe)

3) Successor to a right-wing dictatorship
(see above, Chile, Spain, South Korea, Taiwan)
(And before y'all leftists start whining about how awful Pinochet was, I want to be clear about this:
I think killing mass quanities of commie scumbags is a Good Idea. I LIKE death squads)

It seems there is a qualitative difference between left and right authritarianism that leads to formation of democratic institutions from the latter, but not the former.

The historical example of right wing dictatorships show some broad similarities: The leaders in question may have been corrupt and thuggish, but they also had at least a rudimentary patriotism and love for their country. They were, conciously or not, aware of the limitations of human endeavor. They were not trying to reformulate society into a utopian vision of human perfection. Mostly they just wanted to impose order and stability, and maybe make a few dollars on the side.

Absent an indigenous predisposition for self-government, a necessary precondition for a democracy is stability and the rule of law. The right-wing dictatorships have a record of brutal but effective imposition of order.

This doesn't bode well for Iraq. Somebody is going to have to pound civilization, rule of law and civil order into their heads good and hard before any stable democracy can take root. Trying to have a democratic election in Iraq prior to a long period of imposed order would most likely yield rule by a mullah-du-jour, followed by a three part civil war between Sunnis, Shiites and Kurds, followed by chaos. I doubt we have either the will or the resources to install an imperial viceroy in Iraq. What will have to happen is a takeover by a sane, rational, and pro-western dictatator.


Saturday, April 17, 2004

This One's Been Making the Rounds:

1) Grab the nearest book
2) Open the book to page 23.
3) Find the fifth sentence.
4) Post the text of the sentence.


"This matter is considered in greater detail in chapter 6."

Not exactly thrilling.

Try another, my copy of De Re Metallica is right next to the first choice.

"Certainly, if mining is a shameful and discreditable employment for a gentleman because slaves once worked mines, then agriculture also will bnot be a very creditable employemnt because slaves once cultivated the fields, and even today do so amounf the Turks; nor will architecture be considered honest, because some slaves have been found skilful in that profession; nor medicine, because not a few doctors have been slaves,nor will any other worthy craft, because men captured by force of arms have practised it."


Sunday, April 11, 2004

Pope Calls For Peace in Easter Message

Like this is news. When has the Pope ever called for anything else?

"Pope calls for beer, pizza and pocket-size elephant in Easter message"
Solve Fermat's Last Theorem

Or at least get the Subservient Chocken to do it.
(hmmm, not sure if his result meets rigorous standards for proof)

Subservient chicken

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