Monday, March 15, 2004

Outsourcing My Ass

What's that spunky? You say they outsourced your IT/tech support job to Buttholistan. Well, tough noogies, I mean I'm cryin' in my fricken Meisterbrau here. It's not like you IT jackholes were worth an infected pimple on Satan's ass to start with. My sum total of experience with IT jerkoffs over the years has been:

a) Blame the problem on me. No matter what, it's my fault. Don't even bother to try to understand what I'm complaining about, just blame it on me. For extra credit, read it from a script.

b) Tell me the only way to fix a critical error that makes your companies' POS software useless is to spend another $600 on the latest version, less than 1 year after spending $600 on the original purchase. Which you can't be bothered to support anymore.

c) Somehow managing to delete my entire hard drive, including 6 months of vital project files, while attempting to reload the driver for a sound card.

d) Spend all of 5 minutes dicking with the computer, leaving it in a useless state and completely failing to address the problem before going off to the production floor to talk to your girlfriend for 2 hours.

e) Not speaking English, or any other recognizable human language.

You buttwipes deserve to have your phony baloney jobs exported. I can get better tech support from my cat.

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